


Meanwhile, in Gotham

by TH (TornThorn)



Series: When You're the Best of Friends (And Also Super Heroes in Training) [2]
Category: DCU, Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: For every "meanwhile in Australia" meme, Gotham is That Place, Rules, There are another twenty about the pure absurdity that is Gotham
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-12-17 11:58:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21054035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TornThorn/pseuds/TH
Summary: There are certain rules one must follow while playing hero in Gotham. Too bad Kid Flash never learned them.





	Meanwhile, in Gotham

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to FFN 3/23/11

The darkness was suddenly pierced by the enormous glowing symbol shining against the city's endless fog.

Staring up in shock, the rest of the Young Justice team looked ready to collapse. "Again?" Kid Flash grumbled under his breath. "Holy crap, this is, like, the tenth time tonight!"

Despite his attempt at quiet, his best friend turned, cape flaring out behind him, that familiar smirk perched on the 13-year-old's face. "Poor KF. Is little old Gotham too tough for you?"

That got a glare, and had the speedster straightening up out of his slump. "Whatever, Rob. This place is a piece of cake."

At that, Robin's smile dropped, his eyes began to desperately scan the darkness, and he hissed, "Why'd you say that, idiot?"

"Huh? Whadya mea-?"

The redhead was cut off as a nearby building erupted in flames. When Kid Flash turned shocked eyes on the ninja!Bat, who simply groaned and face-palmed. Then he scowled at his teammates. "First rule of Gotham: never, ever, EVER use the phrase "piece of cake", except in regards to actual, physical cake which you are shortly going to eat."

They all nodded slowly, before turning to face the blazing inferno.

"Come on, guys."

Aqualad may have been the official leader, but it wasn't even a question that -so long as they were in Gotham City, home of the Batman- Robin would be calling the shots.

It was only twenty minutes before they had successfully gotten everyone out of the ramshackle apartment building and let the firefighters take over putting out the flames.

"Well, thank God that's over!" KF exclaimed, white grin looking even brighter against his smoke smudged skin. "Now we can finally have a few minutes re-"

"Don't!" Robin tried to cut his friend off. But they realized it was already too late, as the team listened to the dispatcher on the police frequency the Boy Wonder had tapped into report one charity ball hostage situation, two 7-11 hold ups, one child kidnapping, and yet another escaped Arkham inmate.

"Rule two-" the Boy Wonder growled, all the while hacking the security cameras of the 7-11's and the ball. "Never so much as suggest that there will be any sort of peace and quiet, or a second where you actually have the time to catch your breath."

"Just out of curiosity, how many rules are there?" their Atlantean teammate asked hesitantly.

"So far?" At their nod, the small acrobat snorted. "I've got 51. Batman's list is even longer."

"I don't get it," M'gann whispered to Superboy.

He tilted his head in that adorably childish way and responded, without lowering his voice, "Neither do I."

"Who cares!" Artemis interrupted. "Batman can have however freaking long a list he wants, it won't change the fact that we're the ones who are supposed to be out saving people, we've got five new problems, and we're all standing around chatting about what the aliens don't understand!"

"PMS much?"

"So help me, Kid, I will rip off your goggles and make you eat them!"

Robin watched the situation between the speedster and the archer deteriorate further, then sighed and motioned over the other three. "Aqualad, you and Superboy take down the guys at the gas stations. I've been watching, and they're a pair of thugs without two brain cells to rub together. M'gann, you've got the charity ball. Stay camouflaged and get the guns away from the bad guys. From what I can see, it's just a bunch of amateurs who heard about the situation. You should be fine. I'll find the kid. This should all take 15 minutes, tops, then we'll rendezvous back here. The bulletin the police just posted identified the escapee, it's Clayface, and we're gonna need all hands on deck to deal with him. Let's go."

It took another three minutes before the angry voices abruptly ceased. "Um... where'd everybody go?" A loud smack was heard. "Nice going, you idiot!" "Hey, watch the merchandise!"

* * *

**One Hour Later**

"Rule twenty-seven! Don't turn your back on Harley Quinn!" Robin shrieked, as he flipped, somersaulted and spun around, using the flawless combination of martial arts and acrobatics to avoid the blows and shots aimed at him from the ten men surrounding him, who all wore Joker masks. As he brought one down with a rabbit punch, and another with a knee to the head, he continued explaining the rule. "Especially if you have recently insulted her "Puddin"! Got it, KF?"

The redhead in question was still looking embarrassed, not to mention dizzy, when the Boy Wonder finally got around to knocking out the crazed villainess and retrieving the speedster who she had been holding hostage. Rubbing the bump on his head from where the humongous hammer she had been caring hit him, then at his throat, and the lightly bleeding cut from the knife, Kid Flash nodded lightly, not wanting to hurt his head anymore. "Got it."

By the end of the night, the team had had the opportunity to witness an example of every single on of Robin's "Do Not" rules. All 52 of them. (The last one he had only added to the list that night. "The 52nd rule of Gotham: Don't let Kid Flash visit and/or help out, unless you have superglued, padlocked, and duct taped his mouth closed.")

Batman was so enamored of the new rule, he added it to his own list.


End file.
